We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
