You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
