it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
