I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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