How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
