so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
