I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
