My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize