Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
