Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
