Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
