i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
