Nicole vs. Life
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
