just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he fucked my hip out of place.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
