Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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