You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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