in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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