I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
