cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
