So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
