I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
