Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
