I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
