I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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