It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
