Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
