what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
