i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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