Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
