she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
