Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
