Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
