fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
