make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
