She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
