rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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