Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At least life still wants to fuck me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pooping to opera.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
