So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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