I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
