he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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