We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
