my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Randomize
