Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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