Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You work out of a Hotel?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
