Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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