idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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