Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
