I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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