I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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