never play flip cup with pint glasses
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
