every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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