You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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