no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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