Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
