shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
